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I have been watching the first two seasons of THE WEST WING, my absolute most favorite television show.

There is one particular episode that was very moving to me. Toby Ziegler, the communications director, is called to a Washington metro park by the DC police. A homeless man has been found, dead on a park bench, with a business card of Toby’s. Toby had donated his winter coat and apparently a business card remained in the pocket. Toby recognized a tatoo on the dead man’s arm alerting him to the fact that the man had served in the Marines.

Toby, disturbed by the fact this homeless veteran was not going to receive a proper burial, began pulling strings in the president’s name.

In the meantime, the president’s aide, Charlie, speaks with the presidential secretary, Mrs. Landingham. Charlie asks why she seems down. Mrs. Landingham explains, “I miss my boys around Christmas.” Her twin sons had gone to college, gotten medical degrees, and were drafted to Viet Nam. They went where they were needed. Both sons were killed while serving, and Mrs. Landingham never got to bury her sons.

The president confronts Toby upon learning that his office had been used to secure a soldier’s burial in Arlington Cemetery. The president understands, and returns to the room where a choir is singing, “The Little Drummer Boy.”

As Toby prepares to leave, Mrs. Landingham asks to join him….

This is beautifully filmed, and quite moving…


Some clips from THE WEST WING….

Feeling Jealous

Jealousy is one of the toughest feelings we come up against in our lives. There is not much worse than this aching sense that somehow life has been unfair to us, while amply rewarding someone else. It’s even worse if that someone else is present in our daily lives, making it difficult for us to get the space we need to feel and heal our pain. We may be jealous of a sibling, a dear friend, or even famous personalities. We may even face the challenge of feeling jealous of our spouse, our child, or one of our parents. Whatever the case, we can normalize our experience by understanding that, as painful as it is, jealousy is a common human feeling.

Nevertheless, it is important that we not revel in our jealousy for too long, feeding it with inner talk or gossip with others. If we do, we run the risk of losing ourselves to its negative power. Jealousy has something good to offer us, though, and that is information about our own heart’s desire. When we are jealous of certain people, we want what they have, and if we are to be conscious, we must acknowledge that. In this way, we discover what we want for ourselves, which is the first step to getting it. It may be a certain kind of relationship or a career. Whatever it is, it is possible that we could create it for ourselves, in our own lives, if we are able to honor our own desires.

Of course, there are times when we cannot heal our jealousy in this way, and then the lesson may be about acceptance and the understanding that our path is different from the paths of those around us. It may be hard to see now, but perhaps it will eventually be clear why our life has taken its particular path. In the end, the best cure for jealousy is the recognition that the life we have is full of its own meaning and beauty, utterly unique to us—a gift that could never be found in the life of another.

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July 2008
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